best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail