Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?