Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.

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  (403): just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong. http://tfl.nu/sr7f
  Replies (19) Good night (2300) Bad night (911)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.

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  (920): Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later. http://tfl.nu/9vwo
  Replies (4) Good night (2171) Bad night (603)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!

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  (615): Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY! http://tfl.nu/jz8m
  Replies (21) Good night (873) Bad night (4140)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.

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  (716): I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas. http://tfl.nu/cqgv
  Replies (23) Good night (4575) Bad night (1299)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.

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  (757): Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated. http://tfl.nu/8q5f
  Replies (10) Good night (3018) Bad night (974)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....

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  (215): Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour.... http://tfl.nu/achx
  Replies (6) Good night (3886) Bad night (882)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?

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  (609): What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion? http://tfl.nu/x6xu
  Replies (6) Good night (554) Bad night (1922)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.

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  (+44): next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius. http://tfl.nu/19nm
  Replies (3) Good night (468) Bad night (1069)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.

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  (914): Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again. http://tfl.nu/ajpy
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (968)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began

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  (425): Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began http://tfl.nu/trvz
  Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (744)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?

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  (773): Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents? http://tfl.nu/nffm
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (467)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid

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  (231): if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid http://tfl.nu/52hr
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (1900)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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  (814): Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uh0q
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (1117)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see

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  (503): i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours (1-503): I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see http://tfl.nu/4plr
  Replies (5) Good night (388) Bad night (200)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.

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  (810): My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures. http://tfl.nu/8ycu
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (210)

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