Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery

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  (217): Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery http://tfl.nu/m6f7
  Replies (12) Good night (2261) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think im pregnant

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think you have the wrong number

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  (843): I think im pregnant (803): I think you have the wrong number http://tfl.nu/a8yw
  Replies (66) Good night (1209) Bad night (5441)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.

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  (651): I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again. http://tfl.nu/g370
  Replies (33) Good night (799) Bad night (6955)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

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  (773): omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this... http://tfl.nu/ilg0
  Replies (42) Good night (1010) Bad night (6444)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.

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  (434): Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore. http://tfl.nu/10x7
  Replies (11) Good night (4367) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that

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  (734): I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that http://tfl.nu/jwk4
  Replies (12) Good night (3726) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.

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  (478): There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect. http://tfl.nu/c9bw
  Replies (36) Good night (1382) Bad night (5763)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

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  (508): He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him http://tfl.nu/0v7f
  Replies (4) Good night (5715) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress

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  (302): I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress http://tfl.nu/yb5l
  Replies (16) Good night (5627) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools

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  (301): Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools http://tfl.nu/2rog
  Replies (2) Good night (3244) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (872) Bad night (2494)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

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  (860): Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress? http://tfl.nu/gpyt
  Replies (9) Good night (1657) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out

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  (780): I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out http://tfl.nu/rcah
  Replies (2) Good night (1047) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.

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  (701): Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single. http://tfl.nu/d9fj
  Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.

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  (541): He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans (503): Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants. http://tfl.nu/h1iw
  Replies (7) Good night (1377) Bad night (384)

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