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• (650): View more from California

  sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.

  (415): View more from California

  we had.

  (650): View more from California

  well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.

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• (914): View more from New York

  when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (213): View more from California

  she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot

  (313): View more from Michigan

  He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (360): View more from Washington

  sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.

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• (718): View more from New York

  She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.

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