the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.