she was so not down for the gang bang
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
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Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
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I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .