Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting

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  (574): i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting http://tfl.nu/eus0
  Replies (23) Good night (3704) Bad night (1860)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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  (715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz
  Replies (17) Good night (4807) Bad night (1151)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

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  (479): I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary. http://tfl.nu/vju6
  Replies (25) Good night (1316) Bad night (4848)
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  (714): View more from California

  Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.

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  (714): Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are. http://tfl.nu/u4g1
  Replies (21) Good night (7699) Bad night (1373)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

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  (920): The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap. http://tfl.nu/xkff
  Replies (8) Good night (715) Bad night (4461)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.

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  (405): She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do. http://tfl.nu/bqi8
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (4489)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud

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  (719): passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud http://tfl.nu/qo9v
  Replies (10) Good night (4085) Bad night (1252)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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  (412): dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes. http://tfl.nu/34tx
  Replies (20) Good night (980) Bad night (2504)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower

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  (304): The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower http://tfl.nu/8cve
  Replies (12) Good night (2306) Bad night (837)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??

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  (413): RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay?? http://tfl.nu/ikcs
  Replies (13) Good night (738) Bad night (1497)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.

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  (201): This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw. http://tfl.nu/lq9h
  Replies (7) Good night (816) Bad night (1134)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

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  (708): I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on. http://tfl.nu/l3j9
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (470)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.

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  (706): All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated. http://tfl.nu/hsx6
  Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (365)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked

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  (716): Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked http://tfl.nu/c2o7
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (349)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....

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  (804): Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital.... http://tfl.nu/yn3h
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (540)

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