Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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