He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
