I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
