You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
