Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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