Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
