Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
