i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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