You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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