I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
