Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
