Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize