I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
