I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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