i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
