I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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