NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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