Plan B is the new Plan A
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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