Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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