so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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