We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
