don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
