she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
