did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
