I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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