Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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