If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
