2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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