I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
