the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
