I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
