new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
