i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
