I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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