i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
