If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
