Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just high enough for therapy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
