what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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