Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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