it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
