the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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