I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Randomize
