i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
