are you still at the devil's house?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
