Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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