D3 body, D1 cock
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
