I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
