WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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