Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She needs sedatives and a leash
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
