I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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