The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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