Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
