there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize