He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
