you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
