apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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