The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
birth control should be required to get into college
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
