I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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