Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
