so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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