your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
