We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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