Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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